Why You Never Blow
In case you’re wondering, in Nigeria, the terms “blow”, “blowing”, “blown” are used in a particular context to mean “success”.
Wild and unprecedented success.
And depending on whom you’re talking to, it either happens overnight OR it just looks like it happened overnight.
A lot of time, energy, songs and motivational speeches are dedicated to talking & thinking about “blowing”.
Which is why in this blog post, you could be finding out why YOU have not yet blown. One or more of the four reasons listed below will apply to you IF you’re trying to blow, but it hasn’t happened yet.
Don’t act like it’s not important; like you too no wan blow.
Warning in advance – some of it will be uncomfortable to read. But as I am not in the habit of pampering, here goes…
Sometimes, those you have CHOSEN to surround yourself with = why you have not yet blown.
- genuinely lack the ability to be happy for you
- don’t understand what you’re on about
- will do anything to block you
It’s all the same.
❌That charlatan who says god will not bless you till you give them money or sleep with them, yet you swear they’re your religious leader
❌That person who hates your guts and wants your life, yet you christen them your bestie
❌Your very own monitoring spirit who consistently denigrates you and depletes your self-esteem, yet you say they’re your spouse/parent/sibling/family
You’re actually playing yourself cos you will not blow as long as they’re in your life. The titles you’ve chosen to give them are more important than your success.
LEARN TO RECOGNISE PEOPLE, THINGS AND SITUATIONS FOR WHAT THEY ARE – NOT WHAT YOUR EGO OR EMOTION WOULD PREFER – AND TREAT THEM ACCORDINGLY.
Even when someone isn’t low-key or openly hating on you, they can pass on their limiting beliefs to you.
And you won’t even know the difference.
On a personal note, there were some things I didn’t achieve till I booted some people from my life. Their mindsets were sickening, their drama (some of which was self-inflicted) was draining and I figured I had better things to do with my life. They weren’t going where I was going, so it makes sense that they would be happy to be stuck where they were.
Some, I thought I needed the excuse of an argument with them.
Till I realised I didn’t need to quarrel, fight or argue with anyone, for them not to be a part of my life. And I did what I had to.
I’m literally the person that will block you or stop speaking to you when I confirm that you’re no (longer) good for me.
If you keep allowing people who are bad for you to hold space in your life, it will not end in praise for you. You will NOT blow.
It could even be strangers; you’re not doing things you could/should, cos “What will they say?” won’t let you be great.
The people you shouldn’t have in your life (yet you’re pandering to), those whose opinions are more important to you than your peace of mind, may be the reason YOU have not yet blown.
You don’t actually know what you want
When I moved from London to Abuja, the first thing I told my then-PR folk was, “I want to make money; I don’t care about looking like I have money.”
Now, if you know Abuja OR the media space OR the entertainment industry, you’ll appreciate how strange my demand was. But I didn’t care.
And that’s probably why YOU haven’t blown yet.
If I were to tell you to your face that you don’t know what you want, you might revolt.
You might say, “Oh, I know what I want. I want to be successful; I wan blow!”
But what does success look like to YOU?
If you don’t know what “success” is to you, someone else will give you their own definition to run with, you won’t question it. You’ll even die defending it.
That’s why when someone mocks you for using synthetic hair, you go into debt to get human hair that you don’t even like using! So, you can flex on the ‘gram!
You hear, “We’re going to this party” and cos you haven’t figured out what success is to YOU, you move heaven & Earth to be seen at an event where you don’t even know or actually like anyone. Meanwhile, your presence there doesn’t help your legit career.
Twitter changes something and you lose your damn mind cos you’ve somehow confused having a blue tick after your name with being genuinely loved and/or rich.
It’s why you buy followers on social media or audition for reality TV shows; you hear they’ll make you look successful.
You even enrol on courses you have no business being on. I know folk who did LLM in Maritime Law in the UK, cos they assumed Shell would hire them as soon as they got back to Nigeria = success.
A troll says, “Women like you can never be married; you’re too XYZ”, so you jump into a relationship with the nearest woman-battering idiot & pressure him to propose.
Or you parade your partner, flash your wedding bling and showcase your union that was working well with your silence.
What do you really want: to be married in peace OR to marry just to pepper haters?
To be successful OR to appear/be thought of as successful?
To dance to the beat of someone else’s drum? A beat that can change, depending on their mood or level of understanding?
Your not knowing what you want, might be why YOU haven’t blown yet.
You’re not minding your business.
Imagine that you were booked on a flight travelling to Abuja from Lagos today.
But when you got to the counter of your designated airline, you heard someone say, “Oh, we’re not going to Akure today”. So, you turned around and walked out of the airport, wringing your hands.
And if someone asks, “What’s wrong?” you said, “I was supposed to go to Abuja today, but when I got to the counter, they told someone they’re not flying to Akure today.”
You proceed to repeat that story when whomever was waiting for you at the Nnamdi Azikiwe International Airport asks why you weren’t on the flight.
They’d probably think you’re out of your mind. And someone might even ask, “How is what someone else was told about not flying to Akure, any of your business?”
If you don’t mind your own business, blowing will be far from you.
I remember talking to a young lady who was concerned that “many guys today aren’t interested in going past the talking stage”, so how would she get married?
Me: The year you got into uni, did anyone fail the JAMB exam?
Me: Did everyone you started uni with, graduate at the same time as you?
Me: Why did people’s inability to gain admission or graduate, not stop you from gaining admission or graduating when you did?
Her: How is their failure, my business?
Me: But here you are, focusing on what doesn’t concern you. You’re not trying to marry many guys; it takes going through with a ceremony with just ONE guy to be able to call yourself a wife.
In the previous point, I talked about how not knowing what you want could be keeping you from blowing.
And what you need to know from this point is that what you focus on, will expand. It’s what your subconscious will assume you want, so it’ll produce more of it for you.
Ever noticed how the more you complain about something, the more reasons you have to complain about it?
It might not seem like it, but it takes just as much energy to focus on what you don’t want as it takes to focus on what you do want.
So, mind YOUR business whether it’s
✅ Taking that course
✅ Brushing up your portfolio or your craft
✅ Signing up a new logistics company to deliver your products
✅ Writing short stories instead of forcing yourself to do ‘Content Writing ‘ just cos it seems to be the rage in LinkedIn
✅ Starting your own podcast
✅ Working on your mind
I feel a need to say the mind is very important. If your mind isn’t right and you somehow fall into success, you WILL squander it. Even without meaning to.
Minding your business will look different for everyone, but it’s basically doing what is necessary to get ready for the role/gig/life you desire.
The reason you’ve not blown yet may be that you’re not minding your business.
There are occasions when you do everything right, but TIMING is the issue.
And that could why YOU haven’t blown.
It’s not that you’re lazy.
You could be minding your business, but the time for certain people to know your name just hasn’t come.
It’s not your fault and you didn’t do anything wrong.
It’s just that (and this may be difficult for you to come to terms with) the universe is not in a hurry.
It can be very painful to accept or admit, but there are certain things you cannot control or rig – even if you try.
✅you’re a baker who’d like stars as clients and
✅the event that’ll bring you to limelight is the wedding of the daughter of a celebrity, BUT
✅the specific daughter is now 15yrs old
I think it’s fair to say time hasn’t come for you to blow.
✅you’re a talented, upcoming actress with international awards and financial stability in your future, BUT
✅the script with your breakout role hasn’t even been written cos
✅the screenwriter is currently working in a corporate job, abroad
It’s a timing issue that’s beyond you.
And so on.
So, what do/can/should you do, if timing is why you have not yet blown?
Make time, your friend, even as you’re waiting to blow.
It’d be very unfortunate if after all the time you could have used to get ready to blow, you show up like undone moi-moi.
I help young women in Law and Media develop strong voices, solid careers and stable personal lives. To get help, you can book your paid consultation here.