About The Time I Nearly Got Cosmetic Surgery
Ever wondered if cosmetic surgery is the route for you?
I grew up thinking (because I was told at least 3X a day) that I was ugly.
Which is so ridiculous for many reasons, including that it just wasn’t/isn’t true.
But somewhere in my teenage years, I picked up an extra lie – that a certain part of my body was deformed cos it wasn’t equal.
And I carried that lie into adulthood and to the UK.
I determined that when I made enough money, I’d go under the knife to fix what I truly believed was abnormal. Cos that’s what I do; if I feel like something is wrong, I look for a way to fix it.
Then, my husband re-entered my life (he first entered when we were toddlers but I digress) and while he was still courting me, one day, I asked him, “What would you say if your wife said she wanted to get cosmetic surgery?”
He: I’d really rather that you didn’t. Plus there’s nothing wrong with your body.
Me (in my mind): How would you know? You haven’t seen it!
He: Surgery isn’t as simple as what you think you see on TV; I don’t want you going under a knife unless it’s absolutely necessary.
Me (thinking): OK so he works in the medical field and he knows better than what I see on TV, but still…
He: But if when we’re married, you say you want to get surgery, I’ll sit you down and we’ll discuss the pros and the cons.
If after hearing the cons, you still insist, I’ll look for the best surgeon in the world, I’ll follow you to the consultation and I’ll pay for it; not cos I want to, but because I know you, Chi-Chi.
You have a way of doing what you really want to do, no matter what anyone says. If I just say No, it’s your body so you’ll go behind my back. And chances of you falling into the hands of a quack will increase.
I don’t want to hear unnecessary stories; it’s better and safer for both of us if I know what’s going on, even if I don’t like it.
What he said, really touched my heart. But I didn’t tell him.
And I thought, “I won’t have it yet; I’ll wait till I’m done having kids and see how I feel.” In the meantime, I tried to learn to love my body.
Fast-forward to years later, we actually get married, he sees my body and doesn’t say anything bad, so I think, “Oh, he loves me, he just doesn’t want to hurt my feelings.”
A couple of years after, I’m on Instagram when I come across a post of a young lady who’s really upset about the same “problem” and wants to get surgery to fix it.
And for some reason I go into the comments section and everyone on there is saying, “But that’s exactly how a woman’s body is meant to look; one boob is bigger than the other!”
I couldn’t believe my eyes. When I told someone what I’d seen on the ‘gram, she was like, “I know you said you wanted to get surgery but changed your mind; that’s what you wanted to get fixed?! Something that’s completely normal?”
Me: I thought I was deformed cos they’re so out of sync. They’re supposed to be equal.
She:They’re not supposed to be equal sizes!
Me: But celebrities on the red carpet who talk about everything, don’t even mention it.
She: Because there’s nothing to talk about; it’s that regular!
Me: But their boobs look the same size on the red carpet and in magazines.
She: You know this is why the adjustments on bra straps were created, right?
The problem was never on my body; it was always in my mind. Cos that’s where you’d need to have a problem to think that something so completely normal is bad.
I thought about it yesterday just before news broke that another really beautiful Nigerian lady with an already banging body (if her IG pics are to be believed), died at the hands of a Nigerian cosmetic surgery practitioner in Lagos.
This isn’t about “Nobody should touch their body” vs “It’s your body so do what makes you happy” – you’re going to do whatever you have already decided, anyway. But are you really doing it for you? Are you sure it’s really going to make you happy? Or are you operating on misinformation like I was?
Let me know in the comments section below.