If you’re on this page, it’s because despite what you’ve heard about how giving value is something you should do (especially if you’re trying to build an audience), it just ain’t working for you.

And if you read to the end of this blog post, you’ll see at least one of the three reasons listed below – applies to you.

You’ll also know what to do about it, so that you don’t keep running around in circles or you’re not rooted in one place and not making any decisions cos giving value isn’t working for you.

1) Your definition of “giving value” has you in a chokehold

It possible you don’t actually know what giving value means.

Depending on the circumstances into which you were born, how you were raised or your current environment, you might truly believe that giving value is
❌ giving of yourself till there’s nothing left to give, so that you can “die empty”
❌ leaving yourself open to users, abusers and narcissists
❌ posting on social media till you’re blue in the face

But the truth is that whether you’re giving your time, money, knowledge or other resources – if it is hurting you more than it is helping them, you are not giving value.

Don’t get me wrong; sometimes, giving value isn’t convenient for the giver. But you can’t pour from an empty cup.

2) Those you’re giving value to, aren’t your people

Whether you’re in the marketplace or on social media, it can be tempting to try giving value to everyone in sight. But even with a specific message, that would be like shouting into the abyss.

Everybody is not an audience.

No matter
☑️the level of your experience or expertise
☑️how kind-hearted you are
☑️how much you want to help someone
☑️how much potential you see in them
your attempts at giving value will be a frustrating waste of time, if they don’t actually need you or your help.

If they don’t value you or what you bring to the table, why are you wasting your resources under the guise of giving value?

Also, it took a while for me to understand this, but not everyone who cries out or asks for your help, is your assignment.

You cannot save the world, so stop trying. Otherwise, you will burn out (or worse), but the ones who seem like they’ll die without the value you have to offer now, will quickly move onto someone else.

Know 👇 and know peace
Even when they can financially afford your fee, not everything that appears to be your student, mentee, customer or client – is.

Some of them will just drain your mental, financial and other resources. And if you have no boundaries or you don’t know how to recognise people for what they really are – your giving value won’t work.

Yes, they might need you and/or what you have to offer – because you’ve always had value. But do you really want to be around them or associated with them?

Giving value doesn’t work for anyone who keeps throwing their pearls before pigs.

3) You’re not minding your business

If you’re focusing on the wrong things, giving value is just not going to work for you. There are many ways this plays out.

It might be that your attempts at giving value, lack intentionality. So, there’s no actual strategy for how you post anything on social media. You attend any event (virtual or in-person) that you’re invited to – even if it’s the opening of an envelope – cos you’re looking for visibility.

But you’re not clear on what to do with that visibility or how to harness it. There’s no next step for anyone who’s interested in what you offer, to work with you. So, yes, you are posting and saying things that strike a chord with some people, but you are not expressly telling those people how they can dive deeper with you OR what to expect if they take the plunge.

And ☝️, my dear reader, is how you can actually be famous, yet broke. Maybe you are afraid to ask people to buy from you or you don’t know that you should, but you think you’re giving value cos everybody knows you for something and some people even comment on your posts.

Another way not minding your business shows up when you say you’re giving value is when you’re actually doing whatever you’re doing to compete with someone. Or for clout, which will leave you grossly unsatisfied and burnt out.

It could also be that giving value isn’t working for you because you’re not giving it enough time. What enough time means, will vary from one person to another and from one situation to another.

Some readers need just one social media post or blog post, to wake them up. But there are others who need more priming to take action. It is what it is.

Another manifestation of not minding your business = giving value isn’t working for you, is you trying to control the “how”.

Yes, you can have systems in place, but there are some things you cannot control or anticipate. And it can be very difficult to accept – especially if you’re a go-getter – but the “how” isn’t always your business.

People have had chance meetings or been referred to someone else that took them to the next level they were prepared for. Yet, they didn’t see it coming, as they had no reason to. One of my experiences of minding my business culminated in the publishing of my first book in paperback.

Finally, no matter how much value you think you’re giving, you’re not minding your business when you’re pouring from an empty or broken cup. Sometimes, you actually need to take a break to regroup and decide what you need to do next.

I help young women who are in Law OR Media to develop 👇
✅strong voices
✅solid careers and
✅stable personal lives.
If ☝️ is what you’re interested in, I might be able to help. Ask me here.

Do you now know why ‘giving value’ hasn’t been working for you? Let me know in the comments section below.