There are unions, babies, partnerships and dreams that can only be safeguarded properly by keeping quiet.

I understand that we now live in an era where social media tells you “If you are not showing it off, it’s only cos you ain’t got it to show” OR “If you had it/it really happened, you would post it” BUT

whether it’s your dreams or your plans, if someone doesn’t need to know, shut it!

Do you KNOW you will not actually die, even if people mock you cos they truly believe you don’t have a particular thing or that you’re not doing something?

And I get it; I used to be around some people whom I felt the need to tell things I really should have been keeping quiet. Cos I wanted them to know I was doing something, I wasn’t just sitting on my a*se and being lazy or unlucky, that things were really happening for me.

So, I had to work on (discovering and eliminating the root of) what was already in myself that made me think I needed their validation, in order to exist. And when I got it, I got freedom.

Because I realised that
1) I wasn’t putting myself under pressure to prove anything
2) I was no longer letting anyone pressure me and
3) I was actually progressing for real
when keeping quiet around certain people became a priority for me.

I just got into a state of confirming arrivals. Not justifying my destination or route to people who had no right to know or give me their input on my decisions, desires and dreams. And being OK with it.

You move different when you realise that the person keeping quiet isn’t always doing so because they’re the least intelligent person in the room or that they have nothing to say; they might be the one with the most insight! And (shock horror!) that might actually be why they’re quiet.

I remember when there was some news going around about a part of my life that is important to me. The news was a LIE, but I KNEW that clearing the air would actually endanger me and some folk.

For reasons that were incomprehensible to me, I had these individuals around me, that I had no business having in my life. They were dangerous and deceptively so. It was very much a vultures disguised as eagles situation. And I knew they had to go.

So, I kept mum and played along – even when gossip bloggers messaged me to “leak news about my personal life”. 🤣

A lot of people still don’t know the truth of that situation and they never will. I’m OK with that because what I’ve been able to safeguard with my silence, will ALWAYS be more important to me than opinions and speculations of total strangers with ideas above their own stations. And keeping quiet didn’t cause me to lose anything that didn’t already have to go.

Can we please normalise keeping quiet about what’s important to us, around folk who really don’t need to know?

For instance, IF YOU’RE MARRIED, but you have chosen to keep that part of your life out of the media, trolls calling you a single, bitter feminist will not and cannot make you unmarried. So, if your husband/his safety/your life together are important to you, why do you feel the need to parade him in the media to prove to your h*ters that you talking about women’s issues is not cos you’re single like they claim?

Some people just want to goad you into blabbing about something that’s sacred to you, so they can hurt you; why help them?

It’d be a different issue if you’re in a court of law where you’re expected and you’ve sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Otherwise, why do they need to know?

Sometimes, it’s your thinking you NEED to prove xyz that has/will put you in serious trouble, which is actually avoidable.

In Nigeria where I was born, religion is a huge part of the lifestyle, but it be the most religious ones who lack prudence.

That’s why someone who says they
a) are Xtian and
b) read the Bible regularly
will still lack sense.

Or is it not senseless for you to read about how Joseph was betrayed as a teenager by his 10 brothers (grown-ass men) and sold into slavery AFTER HE KEPT BLABBING ABOUT HIS DREAMS, yet you go announcing yours to all & sundry?

Yeah, I know y’all say (as you like to believe) that was God’s way to send him where he needed to be. But you want to tell me you really believe a God who created everything, couldn’t have come up with another way to send Joseph to Egypt?

Is it not equally senseless to read about Esther/Hadassah who was instructed by her cousin “not to tell anyone where she was from”, but you feel a need to announce yourself to your enemies?

Are you sure your brain is working when you read that after a dream, Joseph FLED with Mary and baby Jesus in the middle of the night, but you feel you can be as careless with your life as you like – and you’ll still be entitled to divine protection? Why didn’t Joseph say, “Ah, Jesus is a special child, son of God and God Himself, so nothing bad can happen”?

Or your brain only works when you read passages that have to do with money?😳

Ignorance (so, if you really don’t know something) is one thing. But it is unthinkable for a person with access to Intel, to behave like the one without it!

I didn’t say you should be isolated and NEVER speak to anyone about your dreams or plans for as long as you live.

But
a) learn to recognise people, things and situations for what they are – not what your ego or emotion would prefer – and treat them accordingly
b) the number of midwives around a woman in labour, isn’t what guarantees safe delivery.

WHETHER IT’S A DREAM OR A HUMAN BABY YOU’RE BIRTHING, NOT EVERYONE HAS A RIGHT TO BE IN YOUR DELIVERY ROOM.

Not everyone deserves the privilege of knowing what you’re doing, where, why and with whom – especially when it’s still in infancy stages. Even when you’re in the public eye!

You preserve certain babies, dreams and unions by keeping quiet.

And if you like, surround yourself with assassins that YOU christened midwives; na you know.

I help women in Law and Media develop strong voices, solid careers and stable personal lives. And you can now ask for my help by asking for your paid consult here OR get a glimpse of just one of the ways I may be able to help you here.