I don’t claim to be a prophetess, but if you want to know the three (types of) people you’ll meet this week, read on

And if you got on this blog post because you’re intrigued by the title, I promise this is not click bait.

Because by the end of this blog post, you will be more aware of the three types of people you’ll meet this week and what to do with them, as they will affect your life.

They might already be in your life, but this blog post will help you recognise them and decide what you need to do.

1) The connoisseur

This one has no conscience and you’ll see it in their behaviour.

They know exactly what you bring to the table and that’s actually why they’re hanging around you. They’re not confused; they’re on an ego trip. They appear confident, but it’s all braggadocio.

This is the one who will cross state lines for sex, but will not commit to you. Or to anyone else for that matter.

In reality, the male version is an insecure, little boy trapped in the body of a man that truly hates himself and needs to have public proof of all the women he’s bedded for his validation.

He has no problem being dragged on social media or being exposed in court for being a deadbeat father of different offspring by different women; he legit needs the attention because when the lights are off, he’s afraid to be alone with himself and his thoughts.

So, he’ll parade you in public, like he does other women and tell you he’s not hiding.

“I like beautiful women,” he continuously bleats to anyone who will listen. The more physically appealing, educated or accomplished the women are, the better.

Not man enough to commit to one woman, he needs a side of Aisha, a serving of Nkechi, a sprinkling of Bolanle – and may sample Bayo in an attempt to prove how woke, free and fluid he is.

The female version of the connoisseur is the woman with issues that are so deeply rooted and too painful to confront, that openly toying with men is how she convinces herself that she has control.

In reality, she’s like the person whose seeming restraint you might admire at a dinner party because they eat so little from every dish on offer. A piece of lettuce here, a raisin off a piece of chocolate cake there. Till you realise they’re actually anorexic or bulimic.

She needs the validation that comes from knowing she can snap her fingers and one of many poor sods that she’s not committed to, will come running.

She doesn’t really believe she’s all that, so one man telling her so, doesn’t make her believe. She needs many men to constantly reinforce what she doesn’t see or believe when she looks in the mirror.

She could be a multiple award-winning beauty queen, but she panics whenever a man gets close enough to see beneath the veneer of makeup. Terrified, little girl playing dress up.

She can’t truly do naked, because she believes it’s something to be ashamed of.

She’s afraid of her acne scars peeking through, so she clogs her pores with makeup. And although she knows deep down that she’s destroying her skin, she can’t stop. Her compulsion is fuelled by fear.

The problem with commitment is the requirement to be intimate – take off your makeup and be truly naked.

Even long-lasting makeup cracks after some hours. And she’s scared that if one man hangs around long enough, he might see the cracks beneath the expertly applied battalion of products and he’ll leave. 

The connoisseur who (in this context) is one of the people you’ll meet this week, is actually sick.

But they’re not ready to admit that they have a problem and get the treatment they require. So, they’ll just ruin your life or your business with their issues.

2) The collector

This one can often be heard saying, “I get your type for house.” Because they do.

See, unlike the connoisseur who needs to be seen in public with you, the collector needs you to be trapped where only (s)he can see you.

That’s why you’re a Masters Degree holder and you carry yourself well, but nobody knows you exist – because of the person you’ve hooked up with.

You have an important business presentation in two days, but they critique you so badly, you actually fall sick on the morning of the presentation. Then, they say, “I told you that you couldn’t do it!”

The collector knows you’re well out of their league, yet spends time and resources to acquire you – just to cage you for their own satisfaction. They can’t afford to have you shine, especially in the presence of other people.

This isn’t the art lover who pays top dollar at an auction for a prized painting or sculpture, then displays it in their living room for only glove-wearing, trusted friends to gawk at. Or bequeaths it to a museum where people who are into that kind of thing, will pay to see it. Nah.

The collector is the one who is miserly and wretched on the outside, but laughs because he thinks, “Folk don’t know how rich I really am. I’ve got that exotic thing in my basement.”

So, there’s the man who tells you how ugly, fat and useless you are – but won’t let you go.

Or the one who thinks and says every actress is a prostitute, but will only look for actresses to date. And when he finds one gullible enough to marry him, he’ll end her career without giving her the option to use her talents in any way.

The woman who shreds your self-esteem like a witch on a mission. She tells you that she’s doing you a favour by being with you “because she’s the best you can ever have”, yet she won’t treat you well and she won’t let you go.

The collector is also in your church – the guy who sees you minding your own business and going in a particular direction, but interrupts and tells you that he will “mould you to his own taste after you marry him”.

The collector is the undercover abuser, masking his homicidal tendencies by speaking in tongues, singing in the choir or even preaching in church services.

This person who’s one of the people you’ll meet this week, works on your psyche till you start to believe that the dust you’ve collected while being hidden in their locker, basement or attic is permanent.

This is the one who doesn’t want to see you smile because your brightness terrifies them. As it should, because they’re usually not even worthy to clean your shoes and they know it. 

3) The companion

The last of the three people you’ll meet this week, the irony of this one is how unsure they can be – despite how deserving they are.

Never mind bringing anything to the table, this one actually has a whole table of their own! Sometimes, they even own an entire restaurant full of tables.

The companion has a genuine tendency to be blind to their own brightness, unaware of their own greatness. That’s why they can yearn deeply for someone who also genuinely wants them too, yet not understand how it’s possible the person wants them as much as they want the person.

This is the genuinely good man who is bowled over by the love of the woman for whom he will do anything. He’ll carry an engagement ring around for three months, because although he knows she loves him, he’s not sure she’ll say Yes.

The companion is the woman who doesn’t play mind games, but is pleasantly surprised by the magnanimity and thoughtfulness of her romantic partner.

By no means perfect (as nobody is), the companion never has any poisoned dish at their table. They will annoy you from time to time, but they won’t deliberately harm you.

They want and are itching to build with you – whether it’s a business, a home or an empire. Past experiences might make them wary of being truly naked and unashamed with you, but they’re willing to try. They actually like seeing you smile.

They understand that they’re not competing with you – even when their business, educational journey or career doesn’t seem to be going as well or as smoothly as yours.

The companion is protective of, yet super proud of you. They actually celebrate your achievements because apart from making you happy, your achievements also make them look good. 

In conclusion…

It’s one thing for you to know what you bring to the table.

But the very nature of the person at whose table you agree to appear or share, is another thing that will affect your outcome. It’s why you could have a life of peace OR you could have reason to imbibe certain lessons on friendship.

And if you don’t choose well, out of these three people you’ll meet this week, you could regret your decision for a long time.

Cos these don’t only apply to romantic relationship. In what you might call friendships, “family” and work situations, all three people you’ll meet this week, are fully present.

Do these 👇 sound familiar?
The friend whose makeup or clothes you create beautifully for cheap or free, but she doesn’t tell anyone so they can pay you.

The brother who uses your name to get into clubs and other establishments where they proceed to make a fool of themselves and vandalise property while asking, “Do you know who I am?”

Your husband’s ungrateful niece who believes that just because you lent her your scarf one time, she’s entitled to the contents of your wardrobe whenever she wants. And when you set her straight, she proves her terrible breeding by crying to your envious sister-in-law who’s already trying to wreck your marriage.

The Facebook friend who’s truly pained by your popularity and tries to project her own insecurities onto you by telling you to use filters on your pictures “to look prettier, because everyone is doing it”.

The boss who gives you a chance, but respects and doesn’t take advantage of you.

Oh, the three people you’ll meet this week, aren’t limited to romantic possibilities alone. And although I’m no prophetess, I know you’ll meet them again, next week.

I help young women who are in Law OR Media to develop strong voices, solid careers and stable personal lives. If you’d like me to help you, apply here.